I used to cancel trips because I was too scared to fly. Now, I chase flights across the world. Here's the framework that helped me rewire that fear into freedom.
I've flown frequently all my life and never felt particularly afraid until recently. Over the last two years, I had to make many landings on a small plane into a city that has particularly turbulent air, and I started to develop a lot of anxiety over turbulence. All the strategies you mentioned have slowly helped me start to get over it. There are two other things I like to remember when I start to feel the physical sensations of fear:
1) Looking at the flight attendants, completely unbothered by the shaking, helps to restore perspective that turbulence is completely normal.
2) I recently read a reddit comment from a pilot explaining that moderate turbulence that feels "like driving over a very bumpy gravel road" is of absolutely no concern to pilots. For some reason it was a huge revelation that the physical sensation of moderate turbulence it basically the same as riding a 4-wheeler or any kind of off-road driving. It's only knowing I'm in the air that makes it scary. Focusing on the immediate physical feeling of the shaking and comparing it to a similar feeling from a land vehicle has made me a million times more comfortable, for some reason!
This is such a thoughtful comment—thank you for sharing it! I totally relate to the shift in mindset when you start flying often and it’s consistently turbulent; your body starts to anticipate it in a whole different way.
Watching the flight attendants is such a grounding reminder (they’re basically the pros of staying calm!), and that gravel road comparison totally clicks for me too—it's why I love the boat-over-waves analogy. It’s funny how reframing the sensation as something familiar and non-threatening (like off-roading or boating) can make such a difference. So glad those strategies have been helping you too!
Great post! Thank you for sharing these practical strategies for managing fear of flying!
Practical, compassionate approach to this common phobia is making air travel more accessible for many who might otherwise miss out on the opportunities that flight provides.
Your post really resonated with me as someone who also writes about this topic on my own Substack.
I particularly appreciated your emphasis on education as a tool for managing anxiety. Understanding the sounds and sensations of flight makes such a difference, I've found that when passengers know what turbulence actually is, it transforms from a terrifying unknown into something manageable.
Your suggestion about creating a personal routine is excellent. Those small rituals can provide a sense of control in an environment where many feel powerless. I've recommended similar approaches to my readers, passengers or friends, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.
Feel free to check out my Substack on fear of flying as well.
Coming from an actual pilot, this really means a lot. I don't fly any planes myself, but I care deeply about aviation, so it’s especially meaningful to have my words resonate with someone like you.
Appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and validation. You have a new subscriber!
I loved this! As someone who lives abroad, I get to fly a lot more than I would like. Some things that have helped me a lot are planning a ridiculous amount of activities for the plane. I bring knitting, a new book, a new magazine, and a bunch of downloaded music and tv, that I've saved specifically for the plane so I have something to be excited about. I also try to plan a meal that makes me feel good before the flight.
A girl after my own heart!! Love the section about grounding yourself in ritual— creating rituals from my regular routine has really helped me with flying anxiety, as someone who travels every week :/// Thank you!!
This makes me so happy to hear! I really believe in the power of ritual—especially for frequent flyers like you, when the pace never really slows down. Bringing even a small sense of familiarity into the chaos of travel can make such a difference. So glad that part resonated!!
Exactly!! The pace never slows, so it takes self-adjustment and a daily mindset shift or change in the way I approach flying to get that sense of peace. You’re obviously doing the same and it’s working!! Loved this one. Thank you 🙏
This is absolutely fantastic and it has been very similar to my experience as well … AND … you have given me some great tips I haven’t considered!! I have no doubt this piece will encourage (literally give courage!) many people.
After all, courage isn’t always done in the absence of fear as you said so well!
It reminds me of a convo a friend had with an older wiser lady
Friend: “…well I would be scared to do that”
Lady: “well sometimes honey you gotta do things afraid”
Thank you so much for saying that, truly, it means everything to me. To help even just *one* person would mean so much to me. And that quote? Wow..."Sometimes you gotta do things afraid." Gonna be holding onto that one.
I was nodding along with this - I've had a somewhat unique experience in that I started life not being afraid of flights, became afraid of flying, and then came back out on the other side. This is partially because (and trigger warning) I have had two family members die in aviation accidents, and a college classmate of mine was on the flight in January that collided with the helicopter.
Very similarly to you, I learned what happens with planes, and how much pilots are trained before they are even allowed in a cockpit. Now, I'm nervous until 10,000 feet and then I'm fine. My calm song that I meditate to during take off is the Adagio from Corelli's Christmas Concerto. Sometimes if I'm lucky it'll put me to sleep.
Thank you so much for sharing this—what an incredible powerful journey to move through. I’m really moved by the way you’ve found your way back to flying after such personal loss.
I had to smile at the 10,000 feet mention—I’m the exact same! I don’t fully settle until I hear that *ding* signaling to FAs that they can get up.
And your calm song? Stunning. I love that we have the same takeoff ritual!
So truly grateful you shared this. it’s exactly the kind of connection I hoped this piece might invite.
You're welcome, and happy to add those strategies to the conversation. I often hesitate to talk about this because fear of flying is so prevalent, and it often freaks people out more, which is understandable, but not all that helpful for me, so I'm grateful that you have posts like this!
I was always motivated to get back in the saddle, so to speak, and at the time I had to travel for work. I am super thankful to the strangers sitting next to me who put up with my conversation when I needed a distraction. If nothing else, pure cynicism won out: the airlines would have to pay out so much money in the event of a crash to families of the affected, so they have a vested interest in making sure we all get to our location safely and in one piece.
Great tips, especially the point about claiming your calm. I find giving myself plenty of time to get to the airport and through security creates a much calmer experience when travelling
Great post!
I've flown frequently all my life and never felt particularly afraid until recently. Over the last two years, I had to make many landings on a small plane into a city that has particularly turbulent air, and I started to develop a lot of anxiety over turbulence. All the strategies you mentioned have slowly helped me start to get over it. There are two other things I like to remember when I start to feel the physical sensations of fear:
1) Looking at the flight attendants, completely unbothered by the shaking, helps to restore perspective that turbulence is completely normal.
2) I recently read a reddit comment from a pilot explaining that moderate turbulence that feels "like driving over a very bumpy gravel road" is of absolutely no concern to pilots. For some reason it was a huge revelation that the physical sensation of moderate turbulence it basically the same as riding a 4-wheeler or any kind of off-road driving. It's only knowing I'm in the air that makes it scary. Focusing on the immediate physical feeling of the shaking and comparing it to a similar feeling from a land vehicle has made me a million times more comfortable, for some reason!
This is such a thoughtful comment—thank you for sharing it! I totally relate to the shift in mindset when you start flying often and it’s consistently turbulent; your body starts to anticipate it in a whole different way.
Watching the flight attendants is such a grounding reminder (they’re basically the pros of staying calm!), and that gravel road comparison totally clicks for me too—it's why I love the boat-over-waves analogy. It’s funny how reframing the sensation as something familiar and non-threatening (like off-roading or boating) can make such a difference. So glad those strategies have been helping you too!
Great post! Thank you for sharing these practical strategies for managing fear of flying!
Practical, compassionate approach to this common phobia is making air travel more accessible for many who might otherwise miss out on the opportunities that flight provides.
Your post really resonated with me as someone who also writes about this topic on my own Substack.
I particularly appreciated your emphasis on education as a tool for managing anxiety. Understanding the sounds and sensations of flight makes such a difference, I've found that when passengers know what turbulence actually is, it transforms from a terrifying unknown into something manageable.
Your suggestion about creating a personal routine is excellent. Those small rituals can provide a sense of control in an environment where many feel powerless. I've recommended similar approaches to my readers, passengers or friends, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.
Feel free to check out my Substack on fear of flying as well.
Keep up the great work!
Coming from an actual pilot, this really means a lot. I don't fly any planes myself, but I care deeply about aviation, so it’s especially meaningful to have my words resonate with someone like you.
Appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and validation. You have a new subscriber!
I loved this! As someone who lives abroad, I get to fly a lot more than I would like. Some things that have helped me a lot are planning a ridiculous amount of activities for the plane. I bring knitting, a new book, a new magazine, and a bunch of downloaded music and tv, that I've saved specifically for the plane so I have something to be excited about. I also try to plan a meal that makes me feel good before the flight.
Distractions + things that make you feel good = recipe for success in the sky. I'm so glad this resonated with you!
A girl after my own heart!! Love the section about grounding yourself in ritual— creating rituals from my regular routine has really helped me with flying anxiety, as someone who travels every week :/// Thank you!!
This makes me so happy to hear! I really believe in the power of ritual—especially for frequent flyers like you, when the pace never really slows down. Bringing even a small sense of familiarity into the chaos of travel can make such a difference. So glad that part resonated!!
Exactly!! The pace never slows, so it takes self-adjustment and a daily mindset shift or change in the way I approach flying to get that sense of peace. You’re obviously doing the same and it’s working!! Loved this one. Thank you 🙏
That means so much, truly! ˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
This is absolutely fantastic and it has been very similar to my experience as well … AND … you have given me some great tips I haven’t considered!! I have no doubt this piece will encourage (literally give courage!) many people.
After all, courage isn’t always done in the absence of fear as you said so well!
It reminds me of a convo a friend had with an older wiser lady
Friend: “…well I would be scared to do that”
Lady: “well sometimes honey you gotta do things afraid”
Thank you so much for saying that, truly, it means everything to me. To help even just *one* person would mean so much to me. And that quote? Wow..."Sometimes you gotta do things afraid." Gonna be holding onto that one.
I was nodding along with this - I've had a somewhat unique experience in that I started life not being afraid of flights, became afraid of flying, and then came back out on the other side. This is partially because (and trigger warning) I have had two family members die in aviation accidents, and a college classmate of mine was on the flight in January that collided with the helicopter.
Very similarly to you, I learned what happens with planes, and how much pilots are trained before they are even allowed in a cockpit. Now, I'm nervous until 10,000 feet and then I'm fine. My calm song that I meditate to during take off is the Adagio from Corelli's Christmas Concerto. Sometimes if I'm lucky it'll put me to sleep.
Thank you so much for sharing this—what an incredible powerful journey to move through. I’m really moved by the way you’ve found your way back to flying after such personal loss.
I had to smile at the 10,000 feet mention—I’m the exact same! I don’t fully settle until I hear that *ding* signaling to FAs that they can get up.
And your calm song? Stunning. I love that we have the same takeoff ritual!
So truly grateful you shared this. it’s exactly the kind of connection I hoped this piece might invite.
You're welcome, and happy to add those strategies to the conversation. I often hesitate to talk about this because fear of flying is so prevalent, and it often freaks people out more, which is understandable, but not all that helpful for me, so I'm grateful that you have posts like this!
I was always motivated to get back in the saddle, so to speak, and at the time I had to travel for work. I am super thankful to the strangers sitting next to me who put up with my conversation when I needed a distraction. If nothing else, pure cynicism won out: the airlines would have to pay out so much money in the event of a crash to families of the affected, so they have a vested interest in making sure we all get to our location safely and in one piece.
Love " fear doesn't have to be the whole story"
Thanks!! That one kinda wrote itself.
These are great tips, Tori! Just forwarded this to my brother in law, who has recently developed a severe fear of flying
Thank you so much! I really hope it helps him, and it means a lot that you shared ❤️
Great tips, especially the point about claiming your calm. I find giving myself plenty of time to get to the airport and through security creates a much calmer experience when travelling
So inspiring!!!